Expectations: The Relationship Killer - olverinternational

 Expectations: The Relationship Killer - Olverinternational

I can explain why people have expectations and how they can ruin relationships. I can suggest methods to help you manage those expectations and the subsequent disappointments. However, I can’t do the work for you—and it is hard work. First, you need to recognize your expectations are harmful. Second, you must decide to change your natural behavior when faced with unmet expectations. Finally, through managing your expectations, you can save yourself from inevitable disappointment and improve your relationships.

Over your lifetime, you will have many relationships to navigate: relatives, schoolmates, friends, teachers, co-workers, bosses, community members, significant others, and your own children. The one thing all these relationships will have in common is the existence of expectations, but where do they come from?

They come from a place Choice Theory psychology ® calls the Quality World. Each of us has this imaginary place where everything is perfect. Our parents are exactly the way we want them to be, and our children behave exactly as we think they should. All our teachers are fair and see our inherent value and worth, and our bosses appreciate our contributions and are understanding on those rare occasions when we may underperform.

If we could live in our Quality World, we would experience constant inner peace. The problem is, we need to live and navigate the reality of our lives and our relationships, and this can be a daunting task.

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